Mad Men Haikus

Authors: EES and JSG

An episode spent

Just waiting for Alex Mack

To self-liquify


It’s medieval lane!

Coming to punch you right out

Pete had it coming


Where are my children?

I only hope they’re not dead.

Oh look; there’s a bird.

- Apocalypstick

He married Megan.

The Draper to my Sterling.

Who the fuck’s Megan?


Well Hells’ Bells, Trudy.

I will throw this turkey now.

Hells’ Bells, my Trudy.


Grandma has a knife

She says it’s for protection

Hey, Sally? Run, girl.


Harry got stoned

Stoned Stones stoned what

Who did I just meet


No thank you, I’m full

Go ahead, eat my ice cream

Your fat powers me


Pete’s dad died on flight

but Pete loves airlines. Delayed

Oedipus complex?


How would you like a

hooker? No? Then what about

a priestly blessing?